Everybody Loves Raymond S10 E05: Aaaaaaliens!
by CastleArcade
Summary: Ray, Harley, and Kim were living life as usual when there's a sudden alien invasion.
Everybody Loves Raymond
Season 10, Episode 5  
'Aaaaaaliens!'

Written by: Robert

It was a nice Monday afternoon. Ray sat down on the couch to watch football. "Time for the gaaaaaame!" He said to himself. Harley Quinn walked down the stairs to see him watching TV.  
"I'm headin' out, puddin'" Harley said to Ray.  
"Alriiiiight. Have fun, Haaarl." Ray said back.  
"Kimmy! Let's go!" Harley shouted in the direction of the garage, where their new friend Kim Possible was staying.  
Kim hurried out and joined Harley as they left the house. Ray waved to them as they closed the door. "I don't get why they're going out when they could just watch the game." He said to himself.  
Five or so minutes went by before the commercials started. Ray sighed and looked up to the ceiling. "Aaaaads." He said, picking up the remote. He started flipping through different channels. "What's with all the news for crying out loud?" He asked, flipping through a surprising amount of news broadcasts.  
"A strange object was spotted over-" CLICK  
"Reports of a UFO have-" CLICK  
"-alien spacecraft hovering above-" CLICK  
"Boring!" Ray shouted and flipped back to the game.

Meanwhile, Harley was driving Ray's car with Kim.  
"Anywhere ya wanna go?" Harley asked Kim.  
Kim shrugged. "I'm good for wherever. Why didn't Ray come?"  
"He's busy watchin' the football game. Says it's a life or death situation if he misses it." She laughed.  
"Wait… what's that?" Kim asked, pointing to the sky.  
A giant spacecraft was hovering overhead, close to their house.  
"Holey UFO-li!" Harley shouted in shock.

Back at the house, the game finally got back from the commercial break.  
"It's about tiiiiiiiiiiime!" Ray sighed in relief. What he didn't know is that as he sighed, the commentators explained that the UFO has caused the game to be canceled.  
"Sorry, folks. But these are strange circumstances. We have no choice but to put the game off until next Monday."  
"Next MONDAYYYY?!" Ray shouted in anger. "That's a weeeek!"

Harley pulled over and got out of the car.  
"Huh." She said, staring at the UFO. "I wonder if they're friendly."  
Right as she finished the sentence, the UFO fired a laser right at Ray's car, turning it into dust in front of Harley and Kim.  
"I guess that answers that." Kim said.  
"Good." Harley smirked. "I've never bashed an alien's noggin in before. I'm gettin' butterflies just thinkin' about it!"  
"Oh, Harley." Kim said with a laugh.

Ray's phone buzzed. It was a text from Harley. It read 'gonna be l8'. Ray shrugged and stood up. "Might as well make a snaaaack then." He said and walked into the kitchen.

Aliens started appearing in the streets, teleporting down to the ground from the mother ship. Harley walked up to the ashes of the car and pulled out her trusty hammer.  
"Now's the fun part, Kimmy!" Harley said as they approached the first alien.  
"Hey! Bozo!" Harley shouted to the alien. It turned toward them and before it could aim its weapon, its head exploded into a puddle of green goo thanks to Harley's hammer.  
"Ya can't put THAT on the Disney Channel." Harley said with a giggle.

Ray was spreading peanut butter on bread when there was a knock on the door.  
"Just come iiiin! It's open!" Ray yelled toward the living room. With a crash, the door was busted down by two aliens.  
"I'll be in there in just a minute. I'm making a saaaandwich." He said. "Could I get you anything?"  
The aliens looked at each other and said nothing.  
"Just a sec, I'll get some refreshments." He said, pouring some lemonade into two glasses. He put his hand through the door, holding the two glasses. "Just take these and I'll be right there." He said, trying to make a sandwich with his one free hand.  
The aliens took the glasses and curiously looked at them. One alien touched the yellow liquid. For a moment, it did nothing, but then its finger started bubbling. Letting out a terrifying shriek of pain, its skin started to fizz until it was a puddle of green goo. The second alien screamed and dropped the glass, running out of the house as fast as it could. It turned on its radio and shouted in its alien language to fall back.

Harley and Kim were surrounded by aliens from all sides.  
"There's too many of them, Harley!" Kim said, back to back with Harley.  
"Don't worry, Kimmy. I know we can do it!" Harley said back.  
They were standing on a pile of alien corpses, most of them missing their head. Just as the aliens began to approach again, there was the sound of an alien voice over the alien's radios.  
The aliens quickly pressed a few buttons on their communicators and they all disappeared.  
"What? Awww. I was ready to fight some more!" Harley said, kicking a body. "Well. I guess we better walk home, Kim." She said.

Ray walked back into the living room with his sandwich and slipped in a green puddle. "Huh?" He asked, looking down. "Awww, geez. Harley must have spilled some juice or something." He said with a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He grabbed a mop and started cleaning up the mess.  
Just as he finished up, Harley and Kim walked into the house, covered in alien blood.  
"Hey, Harl. Have fun?" Ray asked.  
"Oh yeah. You can say that!" She laughed and sat her hammer next to the broken door.  
"Yeah. We had a blast." Kim said sarcastically and walked back into the garage.  
Harley looked at the familiar green goo in the mop bucket as Ray put the cleaning supplies away. "Ray! You did that?!" She asked in surprise, with a big smile.  
"Aw yeah, it was nothin'. Just a little cleaning." He said, no idea there was even an alien invasion.  
"Oh, Ray!" Harley said, laughing.

THE END


End file.
